Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Heartbreak

dad and my big brother at emily's graduation last may

This is how I begin: This is the first time I've been home in 9 days. My father is very sick. My family and I have been with him in the hospital since last Monday night and we are holding out hope that he will pull through. He is old and fragile. While we hope big, we are feeling sad and confused also.

There is so much to this experience, every nuance of whatever this misshapen process is, carries pain and hope and ability, reflection and wishes and love and heartbreak, weakness and strength. We are feeling as many feelings as I think there are. We are taking it minute by minute right now, but sometimes we forget. I hope things will go back to normal soon, like my father would want for all of us. I miss you.

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am very sorry to hear your father is sick. I am sending some good vibrations from the west coast to you and your family.

The Royal Me said...

Been thinkin' about you this week, much love to you and yours.

cindy* said...

i was just thinking of you today. sending love and the best wishes. xo

Laura @ the shorehouse. said...

Oh man. You'll be in my heart. Your words are beautiful at a time that I know is terribly difficult.

Simply Mel said...

Deb, so so so sorry. I wish I could hold your heart in my hands and just tell it softly it will all be okay. I will be thinking of you and your family and your beloved dad. Sending you lots of comfort, peace and hopeful wishes.

Shelley Trbuhovich said...

what an extraordinarily beautiful and heartbreaking post. this is a time most humans dread - to have a parent so ill, i cannot imagine. i will think of you and your family across the miles. sending love from melbourne, australia. x

Marie said...

Hang in there. Much love.

Jade said...

You're in my thoughts. Stay strong. <3

jennifer said...

thinking of you and your family, deb. comfort and well wishes to all of you.

Christine--RHP said...

(((Deb & her dad)))

Julia (Color Me Green) said...

best wishes to you deb <3

pen.ny said...

My thoughts go out to you and your family, much love.

blue moss said...

so sorry...thinking of you and saying a prayer for your dad and your family
michelle

erin said...

sending heaps and heaps of love to you and your dad. xo.

Pixie said...

I'm sending prayers your way.

montague said...

thinking and praying for you and your family...

Anonymous said...

I wish for peace for you and your family. I hope that your father moves in the direction that is necessary for him, and whatever that direction is, I hope you all can accept his decision, whatever it may be. I am envious that you have an amazing father, and you love him so dearly-- that is something I've never had. My prayers are with you.

Anonymous said...

I am here for you -- joie

Aran said...

So sorry deb... i'm thinking about you and your family. xxoo

matilda said...

Best wishes.

Vana said...

oh deb...my thoughts are with you. be strong. All my best, friend.

virginia said...

sending you tons and tons of love & strength.

limonana said...

your papa is in my prayers...i'm sending many healing & positive vibes your way.

Tracey said...

Big hugs from Sugar Hollow - thinking about you and your papa . . .

Anonymous said...

My family has walked this journey...like walking through the eye of a needle. Everything in every moment. It is a sacred and extraordinary time. Please know that you and your family are safe. You are loved. And you are never alone.

You are being held close. You will not fall.

Diana said...

peace to you and yours, my friend...

heidi said...

Oh Deb... my thoughts & prayers are with you & your family. If you need anything just let me know. xxooh

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIfTuQMF75c&feature=related

Mary Jo from TrustYourStyle said...

I'm so sorry to hear this, and I am sending wishes for love and peace for you and your family. It is so wonderful that you can be there for him as painful as it must be.

fraisedesbois said...

Hi,
I am sorry to hear about your father and I hope your father will be better soon. I can totally relate to what you are going through as my mother has been diagnosed two years ago with an incurable disease which is Lou Gehrig disease. She can't talk nor eat and she is feeble. Life would be perfect if she never got this disease. I know it is life and I have to keep going but I found it really hard. I don't understand why and how she got this disease. I am sorry if I am getting very personal here but I wanted to write you this note to let you know that I can relate. Hang in there. Things will go back to normal.

Wishful Nals said...

so sorry to hear.

plaisirs simples said...

so sorry to hear this. hope he is doing better!

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