Bon Thanksgiving and Thanksgivingukkah

Deciding to do more of the things I wanted to do and less of the things I didn't want to do, I realized I was on to something. It started to keep the noise out. And then it really did. And blew up so large that all the yesses (rather than the no's) became manageable (even when they didn't feel that way) and lovable and staying up late working was easy. And suddenly time opened up. 

What? Wait. How? 

It just did. 

Then there were so many beads and cakes, and Thai take-out containers (as well as roasted chicken bones) and did I tell you I've been volunteering, helping kids who are having trouble reading, learn to read? And taking a landscape design class? It's a lot. But it's all feeding into my master plan: my soul. And my soul is glad the design class is over tomorrow night right before the holiday rush, although it was super fun and I learned a lot!.

(Christmas orders coming up!)

And we're hosting Thanksgiving dinner again, my favorite dinner to cook. We do Fall really well in this house if Jim do say so himself. (I love that man.) 

On last year's menu was:

Sage Roasted Turkey with Shallot Madeira Gravy

Cornbread Stuffing with Prunes, Cippolini, Chestnuts & Thyme

Roasted Sweet Potatoes and Carrots with Honey

Mashed Purple Fingerlings & Fresh Garlic

Brussel Sprouts with Pecans

Butter Lettuce with Mandarin Oranges and Red Onion

Cranberry Kumquat Sauce

And a Plum Pie

This week I am in the studio, working with my new Bonbon Girls who will be helping me at our holiday events this season and finishing my final project for my landscape design class which ends tomorrow night.

And writing this blog post. And all kinds of other things. Until the hinges come off, it's all pretty good. 

Love, Me

Our Bonbon Oiseau Lookbooking Tumblr Page turned Four today! 

Holiday Season, Why Hath Thou Come So Early in Ten Easy Steps?

Thanksgiving-ukkah comes but once every 6000 years. I seem to have bitten off a lot here at the Bonbon International Headquatres. And whenever the going gets supah supah busy, I get distracted and decide to wing a really  unscientific baking session, yesterday's included pumpkin puree, orange flower water and almond/coconut flour. 

Then, in the last 24 hours, these ten things happened:

1. Worked on Bonbons for holiday orders, new methods introduced including beeswax and french knots.

2. Worked on my final Urban Landscape Design project, the BBG class that the great What Possessed Me made me take and now I am nervously trying to distinguish between types of big phallus-shaped hydrangea and apple trees that can be espaliered. Thanks P! It's still not finished and is totally unrealistic and not suitable for real live persons (can a human sit on a 9-inch bench?) but I am enriched I guess, and also very frustrated.

3. Organized my week but then quickly got disorganized in trying to get organized.

4. Ate 7 of the 12 Experimental Pumpkin-Orange Flower muffins.

5. Felt sick.

6. Fell asleep during Homeland. Heard Jim in the background saying things, like "HOLY SHIT!" and "NO WAY!!!!"

7. Dreamt I left the keys in the car in a parking garage in Southern Laos and then the car got stolen and I had to explain this to Jim and I lied and then I felt even worse and then some adventure ensued and then the cat was licking my hair again.

8. Remembered that, according to This American Life, no one cares about my dreams unless it's a shrink who gets excited about "Dream Work". What? What's that you say about boring self-indulgent droning? I CAN'T HEAR YOU SARAH KOENIG'S MOM?!

9. Made a count down list of everything that needs to get done before everyone comes to my house for Thanksgiving-Hanukkah-Sophie's birthday party. But not a list of what we can and can't talk about.

10. I have a lot of shit to do.

So before I begin I will just say, Those Muffins Were Great: 

PUMPKIN ORANGE FLOWER MUFFINS 

(that also happen top be gluten-free and delicious)

1 cup organic pumpkin pie mix--get the can from "Farmer's Market" that is already spiced--it's so good!

(if not add 1 tsp cinnamon, 1/2 tsp ground ginger, 1/2 tsp nutmeg, 1/2 tsp ground cloves)

1/3 c. Melted coconut oil

1/8 c. honey 

1/3 c. maple syrup

3 eggs, whisked 

1 tsp vanilla 

optional- 2 tsp of orange flower water if you have it 

______________

 1/3 c. Coconut flour

 2/3 c. Almond meal

 1/2 tsp baking powder

 1/2 tsp baking soda

Preheat oven to 350 f.

Mix all the dry ingredients in a bowl and then in a separate bowl mix dry ingredients. Mix the two together--the batter should be a bit think, not runny. Fill little muffin cups 3/4 full and top with a pecan half, a drizzle of maple syrup and maybe if you want to get crazy a little sprinkle of demarara sugar. Bake for about 30-40 minutes. Let cool and be cool.

Cute little baking cups in an odd color for a pumpkin muffin, 

but nevertheless found on a 

way-of-killing-time-I-don't-really-have-shopping-trip at the Container Store.

 _________________________________________________________________________________

In other news--the studio is clean and humming happily away!

The cold fall light has been beautiful and the Nearly Impossible Conference last week was...

 Seth Godin and his infinite wisdom 

at the Nearly Impossible Conference

 James Victore and his infinite awesomeness 

at the Nearly Impossible Conference

 Expert Lab at Nearly Impossible

Nearly Impossible 2013 was two full days of full-on amazingness. I am still reeling at having met so many wonderful and inspiring people all in one room. I learned so much and gathered so much valuable information which was perfect for where my head was lurking these last last few months but mostly I am still here and even more super ready for everything.

Holidays orders, especially for Thanksgiving-Hanukkah should be in by Wednesday, November 20th!

That's just a few days from now, mes petits darlings so start perusing and deciding and tomorrow I'll give you an idea of where we'll be this holiday season so you can buy them live and in person from us in New York City! 

Online:

The Beads(which supports us and also a wonderful organization called Room to Read)

The MoneyClips and Fobs and Tieclips (some of which are monagrammable)

Buy any of these here and we'll wrap them so beautifully for you! 

Love, 

Bonbon

Have you been a modern day flaneur on our instagram? 

 God, I hope so.

Whatever it Takes and Where to Send Help for Philippines Typhoon Victims

I have been making these little paintings as daily meditations. This week they are coming out like this, in tiny petals.

The fleeting sense of time involved in making a watercolor has been rooting me in the present as I plan and design objects and jewelry for future seasons, often while thinking about the past. 

The other night an entire shelf of dishes came crashing down and all I had left were some little tin bowls I had loved the minute I saw them and brought them home to NY all the way from Paris. The ephemerality of objects, what makes a home, what are the things we use to occupy it combine things you hold in your heart yet some are just markers of what you think you need or who you are at a certain time in your life, and all of it can go away in a heartbeat or a crashing shelf, a strong wind and we have no choice but to let go. Love and hope is longer and stronger, like little tin bowls. My heart goes out to the people of the Philippines who have lost so much. 

Click here to see how you can help. We gave to Doctors Without Borders. 

My Cat Stepped on My Face to Get Me To Do This: Nearly Impossible 2013

I am going to this: Nearly Impossible 2013. Fuck it, right? 

Arianne Foulks, who does "all the things" at the fabulous web design co. Aeolidia shot me an email saying she'd be there in Brooklyn for it and we could meet up.  

I read her email late last night (after my "Become a Pretend Landscape Designer" class I take with P.) and early this morning, after the cat stepped on my face to drink out of my water glass, I looked at the Nearly Impossible link.

It looked too good to be true. Respected and successful practitioners of entrepreneurial prowess running the show. A chance for enlightenment. Sound advice on how to go forward in my newish bonbon adventure venture in the here and now by sound advice-givers. Other things probably.

James Victore is one of the speakers, who I met briefly when I worked as an educator at the Museum of Arts and Design (while he was there giving a workshop for the NYC Mentor/Student program) and when I saw his name I thought there must be thousands or so people who have met that guy in a similar way--a lucky chance to hear him speak and be inspired by his no-bullshit straight-to-the-heart approach to design. And thinking. Just seeing him would be worth going to this. I bet people say to him all the time, "I saw you _____________. You really changed my thinking about a lot  of things." Some people just have that gift.

And then I saw this quote: "Don't undertake a project unless it is manifestly important and nearly impossible" -Edwin H. Land

The I googled Edwin H. Land, then I looked at my calendar. Then I balked. Then I figured out that I could make room for it. I COULD DO THIS. My credit card told me so.

I'm going! I'M DOING THIS!!! Thank you Aeolidia! 

India in Full Color and TCB UP IN HERE

Was looking this morning through a few from our trip to Karnataka, Kerala and Goa last August. Everything is just bursting with the best colors I have ever loved.

I wonder sometimes what I'm doing here and not there, since my  heart has always been stuck there. Bharat mai, mera dil lagtaa hai. I do have a five year visa and a plan for a project. Anyone want to jump on board? Any ideas? Stowaways?

Here or there, today am ecstatic to be bringing all these colors into my work. Getting stoked for the next collection and making readymades for certain items so that when an order comes it can get shipped right away. TCB all up in Bonbon land. 

Practice Resurrection

I saw this little poem a long time ago on a blog by one of my favorite humans, Molly, A Little House in the Clouds. I wrote it out over and over and gave it to friends and now I love it all over again and wanted to thank Molly. Thanks Molly. 

The worst that could happen is probably exactly like the best that could happen. love, Deb 

HILL, SAND, RIVER/ Starting Over and Why Sometimes Moving Glacially is OK

Hello
Hello (hangs head sheepishly). Where I've been when I haven't been here I can tell you easily and I can say that I've missed you, here, this space and it's true. Everyone who neglects writing their blog says this and it is true, they feel it too. Knowing the reason why is a little harder to admit sometimes and I've been searching for that but first... 

I've been working. On my business. On my health. On my life, myself. I've been sick and then healthy. I've been cooking and looking and getting my hands dirty on the four by three feet of illegal garden I rent. I've been thinking too hard. I've been nowhere that exotic. I've been in Iowa. Twice. I spent a night in Milwaukee. The car broke down 1200 miles from home. I got to know some wonderful people. I lost some wonderful people. Wonderful people moved away. Wonderful people got sick and needed help. I tried to help. I traveled with Jim, my love, my partner in every possible shitstorm and sunshower. I sat on my rooftop. I dried orange peels.

I have thought long and hard for the past 5 years. Friends have had kids and then sometimes another. They move to new towns, buy homes, start new businesses, write books, get grants, go back to school, graduate from school, done enviable things. I've moved glacially. Not for not trying to get the things I've wanted but the things I've wanted have been elusive, not up for grabs like I thought they'd be up on the surface and sometimes so deep in the undertow, they haven't been attainable. "Anything" is not always attainable actually. Mostly, I've just held myself back out of pain and grief and fear and some voice in my head and my body whispering "no" or "not now". I looked for signs and motivation and kept pushing through. When pushing got exhausting, I let it wash over me like a wave.

I tried to keep my business afloat, but after a while it didn't feel right, very little contribution to anything or anyone. I  couldn't push forward without knowing why I felt this way, even if I love designing and creating, being in the studio or writing and painting and being fully engaged, I stopped for a while. It wasn't because I didn't know what to make but I didn't know why I was making it anymore. I stopped writing my blog after my father died really,  because this blog was the place I only put the good things--there are still so many good things but I no longer wanted to share. I stopped writing here because it was a place of thanks without the added burden of my pain and vulnerabilities. I felt lost. 

Practicing Resurrection*

In the meantime I nurtured my plants, my friends, my love.

I have talked about this with Jim and with mentors and friends. They tell me it would be a shame for me to stop putting my work out there in the world when I tell them I could just move on. It made me feel guilty, saddened, stumped, cluttered, clouded, embarrassed, ill-defined, supported, confused. I got a note from a facebook friend who I've never actually met and I love that that's possible. She told me she works for a non-profit that she loves but while she doesn't make much money, she believes so much in the organization and it's mission, that she left her well-paid job to do it (10/17/13 note: she says she actually got fired but still-she didn't go back to some other deadening job, right?)--now she works another PT job so she can keep doing it. In the same note she wrote: "I can't wait to see your new collection, I really feel transported looking at your beadwork. I'm glad you do what you do, and feel fortunate to have some of it of my own to wear." I told her how much I admired what she had done. I told her I wished I could figure out how to do that and still do what I do. I felt flattered and humbled by what she wrote. And then:

Recently I saw something written out on the side of a building and it just said, "COURAGE" in big black letters. I wrote it in my notebook. Then I looked at it again and again. It shook me. Maybe it was my moment. Or maybe it was a combination of too many moments.

And then a week later, one morning I woke up and started to forgive everyone and everything. I forgave myself. I loosened myself from my pain. I packed something invisible up in a big heavy suitcase, balanced it on a little paper boat and set it free on the East River. Saying goodbye started to bring into focus and connect all the things I love and all the things I do and the many strengths and supports all around me suddenly became visible, so in focus that a roadmap unfolded.

It all comes down to this: I have always wanted to do more with my Bonbon, it and me. Since 2004 when Bonbon Oiseau, my Good Good Bird was born, I wanted her to do something bigger than what seemed possible, I wanted to link her to the larger world where I traveled, the amazing places I had been and the incredible people I had met. I wanted her to be part of a social project but I didn't know what? How? Why? Now, I'm picking up pieces from what feels like a very organized landslide.  

Small Steps
I'm drawing up plans now, focusing on how to walk again and starting down a road/entering a door/crawling head first through a window  into the next phase of my work. I'm going to start  by releasing collections when I want to and not dictated by the fashion year. I'll be expanding what we do which means not just jewelry. Maybe not even just my own work. That will come soon.  

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING is that the way I will do things from this day forward is to give something back. I've been working on the idea of dedicating this latest collection to something amazing and close to my heart. I am thinking about Malala. I am thinking about all the women and girls I read and saw in Nicolas Kristoff's Half the Sky. I am thinking about Girl Rising. I am thinking of organizations such as Somaly Mam, New Light, Aapne Aap, Opportunity International. I am thinking of my friend's 11 year old daughter, who started her own fundraising club called, well, EMMA'S FUNDRAISING CLUB (!) who raised enough money to send a little girl in Africa to school for a year through an inspiring organization called Beads for Education. I am thinking of the COURAGE and CONFIDENCE and LOVE and COMPASSION it takes for humans to undergo change and perpetuate something good and right and bigger than them and these are all the things I want to go into the next phase of my life with these as credos at the forefront, not tucked way in the back not doing anyone any good. So I am starting here sounding kind of gung ho right now huh?

Starting with small steps...

Last Friday, on International Day of the Girl we quietly launched our "pop-up" site, with help from fantastic friends, the newest collection of bonbons called HILL, SAND, RIVER, inspired by our last three travels: Morocco, Southern India and Cambodia. 

I'm finally doing something I've always wanted to do, right from the inception of Bonbon back in 2004 but kept waiting and digging for how to do it, supporting my work while my work can remind and promote and give back to something even better, so then, this: 

We'll be donating $5-$20 from every purchase of our new collection to ROOM to READ an incredible organization whose aim is to promote gender equality  by supporting girls education throughout Asia and Africa by building schools, buying books, building libraries and in turn, girl's confidence and self-esteem. To support girls education is to give girls a chance to contribute to their communities and the world and eventually this paradigm shift will move and shake a landslide: it will eradicate poverty and create future generations of girls and women with force and courage to lift themselves out of whatever their lives were, and what can be better than sharing in that?